Sunday, July 17, 2011

too proud?

Can You sing over me, words of comfort?
Can You satisfy me, sweet honey?
Can You break through me, with Your strong hands?
Can You undo me, enough to heal me?

You take the weight from my shoulders.
My hands were clenched, now they are open.
I'll take Your goodness poured from the sky.
Food from the ravens. Water from the dry well.
-Enter the Worship Circle (too proud)

Sometimes when our feelings are all over the place, remember this. Our hearts are so fickle. They can so easily lead us astray. Proverbs 28:26


The Word of God is not only comfort but the ultimate truth. Cling to it. It satisfies because it is the voice of God calling out to His people. Listen as you read. Let it pierce your heart and move you into action. It will break through your facade that you have built up for so long. His strong hands will heal you. He will break us a part. He will prune and chip away at the people we have built ourselves to be and remake us into the masterpiece He desires us to be. Someone who uses their gifts, hearts, and lives for His glory.

Don't get lost in thought, dear friend.
Read and be healed. :)

Love.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Music Monday.

Well hey there Music Monday!

Can I tell y'all how much I love Music Monday?

A LOT!!!!

Today's post is going to introduce a new Artist. Well, she isn't necessarily new and I have actually already blogged one of her songs. But I am pretty sure she is new to some of you. Thus the introduction of Jess Ray and the Rag Tag Army.
FOR THE LOVE, her music is so good to my ears. Her lyrics make me love Jesus more. A long while back I told you about her song Better. The Lord has used that song to glorify Himself in my life many times. Not only in my life, but in many of my friend's lives. It is one of those songs that you just put on repeat and relish in the fact that Jesus is better than anything that this life can give you.

I recently just found Jess Ray on facebook and fell in love with her new song, Had Me For Good.
This song talks about....well, She actually posts a vid explaining it. So watch that.

Now I am about to give you some instruction and you should probably follow it. :) Trust a sister, have I ever led you wrong? Nope. :)

1. click here. You are going to be taken to her fb page.
2. Like her page.
3. Scroll down until you see the vid where it says. "It's Tuesday and we only have two weeks left!" (she explains the song.) (you can also see her heart for the Lord!)
4. Watch video. :)
5. Go to her website. Click here.
6. Listen to the song. :))))))
7. Buy song. :)

Here are the lyrics:
I remember when You spoke to me
And for the first time I believed all you were saying
And in a moment you took hold of me
You had me for good,
had me for good, had me for good

You shackled, fastened, tethered me, to Yourself
And I am broken, useless, and ruined for anything else

You're rewriting my nature
You're reworking all my default settings
And there is nothing that can change that
Not even me, not even me, not even me

You shackled, fastened, tethered me, to Yourself
And I am broken, useless, and ruined for anything else

I'm prone to wonder towards you now.

______________________________________

Well there ya have it. Music Monday people. I promise this song is good.
Jesus truly has us FOR GOOD.
I love the part that says that we are ruined for anything else but Him. I LOVE THAT. I don't want anything else but Jesus. Nothing else compares. Let the song and the love of Jesus be honey to your soul.

Love y'all.
a lot.

question of the day:
Did you listen to the song? Do you have new perception of the Lord's love for you?
Answer me, answer me! :)

Prize!!
If you answer the question I will pick a winner and send them a random cd of mixed music. Ask anyone who has ever gotten a cd from me if they are legit and they will answer, YES! ;)

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Too Proud.

Sitting in my bed, listening to the rain as well as the perfect song.
Soaking in the sound of thunder, taking in the flashes of light through my blinds, and just processing the day.

So I write to you my friends. Hoping that the Lord will use this post only to draw you closer to Him, by connecting our hearts. A connection can only happen through communication and vulnerability. So here I am, communicating and being vulnerable to you. Beth Moore once said blogging is not for the proud but for the honest. Oh, how our honesty can bring such healing not only for ourselves but for others. But that is a different thought for a different post.

Get comfortable and lets dig in.
Warning: its long. but bear with me. :)

Honestly y'all, today has been exhausting. I went to church this morning and God wrecked me. I then went to lunch and God wrecked me. Weird, I know, but it happened. I then went home and sat on my mommas bed and cried like a baby and we shared our hearts. Then off to Starbucks to study my heart out, just needing to be with Jesus.

This morning Pastor Nick preached on the Power of the Holy Spirit. It was the last part of his sermon that got me. He spoke over our struggles and having heavy hearts. He talked about our struggles and how they bring us closer to Jesus. Oh, how I needed to be reminded of this. Y'all, I have been struggling. I have been struggling with doubt of my salvation. It has been draining. I have been really transparent about my doubt with a lot of people but not with everyone. It is scary to mention it. To reveal that a girl who feels called to ministry and claims to love Jesus with all that I am, struggles with doubt. It doesn't match up.

I nailed down my salvation in the 8th grade. I remember praying with all of my might that Jesus would save me, that the best that I knew how, I was giving my life to Christ. I wanted Him to be Lord of all that I was. I knew that life wasn't worth it unless I was living for Christ. Y'all as I was praying the devil was whispering in my ear, "You don't mean this." But I know that I did. I knew that I wanted it. The spiritual warfare was Cray Cray. Fo Real. Honestly guys, it took me a year to fully get over the doubt. Jesus definitely showed Himself to me, and was there but I couldn't shake it. In talking to one of my youth pastors he was super blunt with me and just said, "Monica, you are not trusting Jesus." He has got this. You need to trust Him. That day something clicked. I knew that the grace of God was covering me. Jesus did all that I needed Him too. I finally took the perspective off of myself and stopped trying so hard. I just let His blood cover me. For the next four years the doubt was gone.

You see, I believe that my doubt is a product of when I start trusting myself and my works more than I trust the blood of Jesus. I look at my life at times, and think to myself, I got this. I do good work. Even as I write this, I laugh at myself. Nothing I can do is good enough. Jesus is the only good in me.

Fast forward to now..doubt has crept back into my life. I was trying to do it on my own. I am called to ministry y'all. I've known it since the 8th grade. But I have been trying to do it on my own power. I needed to be reminded that it is NOT me. It IS Jesus. He is worth it all. Not me.

I would go to church and be like DADGUM something was missing. Lo and behold, it was Jesus. I took my life back in my own hands and was trying to be good enough rather than just resting in what He did for me. I was doing church. I would raise my hands knowing He was worthy but missing out on Him. So I would question, "Is this for real?"

It is. :)

Today Pastor talked about the comfort of the Holy Spirit. Even in our trials and tribulations. My doubt is definitely a trial. One that I bring on myself, but also one that the Lord uses for His glory. I was so broken because I needed that comfort. I went home and talked with mom through what was going on in my heart and she prayed over me. It was such a sweet time with her. The Lord granted my heart peace. I know that I am His.

From that point I went to Starbucks and just read the Word. I read Ephesians chapters 1-3, as well as a devotional, My Utmost for His Highest.
"Some of us are far from this oneness; yet God will not leave us alone until we are one with Him-- because Jesus prayed, "..that they all may be one.." -My Utmost for His Highest

Ephesians chapters 1-3 also mentioned being one with Christ 7 times.

I realized at Starbucks that Jesus is sanctifying me. Which is just a really fancy word for making me more like Christ. He is going to allow doubt to creep in my mind whenever I am doing this whole being a Christian thing on my own. He wants me to be one with Him. I can't be one when I am doing everything on my own. It. Is. Him.

He wants to be one with you. He doesn't want to just be someone you say you believe in or someone that you talk about every so often. He wants to be one with you. Just like a husband is one with his wife. A husband and wife know each other. They know EVERYTHING about each other. He wants me to know all of Him so I no longer doubt. So I know his promises. So I know that He has crazy good plans for my life. But mostly so He can be glorified in me. Do you know that God is most glorified when we are satisfied in Him. When we find every need in Him. Every desire is for Him. He is worth it. Even now, as I write to you. I am amazed at His love for me.

I know this post is long. And kinda all over the place. You got a glimpse of my heart. And what God is doing. He is asking for all of me. And not for me to do life on my own, but to let Jesus be alive in me. He wants you, reader, friend, to know Him.

The Gospel is as simple as this: I will never be good enough. Even on my very best day, it is not enough to be enough. I am a sinner. Jesus is enough. He was sinless, a perfect sacrifice. And God did just that. God sent Jesus to die on the cross to take all my imperfections, all my doubt on himself. He died for me. He rose again three days later and conquered all my sin. He conquered the devil that whispered in my ear. He placed me into heaven, forever. Not because I was good enough. But because I believe in who He says He is. I gave my life to Him. And He took it. Dirty and doubtful Monica is now Clean and believing.

Who are you? Do you know Him? Really know Him? Is He everything?
Let me know.

Email me or fb me if you have specific questions that you don't want to post or contact me if you want to share your story.
monica.smith10@okstate.edu

love you.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Draw Near

I'm back!

I know, I know! I said I was going to do 365 days worth of posts... But of course life got super crazy. But the Lord blessed me with a day off today, so I writing to you, my friends. As cheesy as it may sound, I hope this post finds you happy and well. :) Seriously!
Oh! You should probably thank my sweet friend Alyssa, for this post because in all honesty it is her pretty self that encouraged me to write again. You can follow her, here. :)

Now for today's post. LET'S ROLL.

Jesus is more than good. He is more than I could ever tell you about. He is all that matters.

He. Is. It.

This post is specifically for those people that are in a rut with their relationship with Jesus. Y'all, I know that can be the worst feeling, EVER. But there is hope, He is good. He desires you with all that He is. His love never changes. His love does not rely on who we are or what we have done, His faithful love is perfect because of who He is, and what He has done. He is LOVE.


Those truth's are what I have been learning to believe and learning to trust. I will never be good enough or do enough. I will always fail. But He never does and He won't. God has literally been stripping me of ALL that I am. He is taking the good and the bad.


My challenge to you is this: Stop, just stop. Stop trying so hard. Stop trying to fix it all. Stop trying to be good enough and REST. Rest in who Jesus is, in what He did for you. If you're thinking but how? How do I rest? I will tell you.


You can't rest in Jesus and who He is, if you don't know Him. If you are not taking the time to be with Him. To know that He is love. So rest, in the Word of God. Search. Read. Soak. REST. Listen to music that praises Him for all that He is. Then let the Word and let the truths that people sing about overtake you. Lay down all your mistakes, knowing that Jesus died for exactly those. And rest in Him. The Word will change and transform you. I promise that when you spend time in the Word, you will be a different person. When you take the focus of yourself and focus on Christ, you will live differently. It will be an abundant life in Christ.


Start here, listen to this song.

Fave lyrics are:

Breathe in me Your life

'Til Your love overtakes me.

Open up my eyes

Let me see you more clearly

Falling on my knees

'Til I love like You love me

I love You.


Sing this over yourself.


Some verses :)

Draw me after You and let us run together. Song of Solomon 1:4

..Fear not: For I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. Isaiah 43:1

If the Son therefore shall make you free, you shall be free indeed. John 8:36

And you shall seek me, and find me, when you search for me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13

You have said, "Seek my face." My heart says to you, "Your face, Lord, do I seek." Psalm 27:8


Seek Him and who He is with all you are, and rest.

Love you guys.


Question: What is the best way you connect with Jesus? Don't be scurred. Leave a comment and lets talk it out. :)



Monday, April 25, 2011

Music Monday.



"Your love for music will be an important part of your life." My fortune cookie. :)


If you know me at all, you know that I am a HUGE fan of music. HUGE.
So, every Monday, will be Music Monday.
Get. Excited.


This particular Monday is featuring KB! You can check him out here.


I actually just got a hold of his cd today. It is raw and full of talent. He lays out the truth and brings it hard. Check out a "Don't Waste Your Life" remix here. He brings it, and it. Is. Good.


click here to see the vid. :)


Okay, I know I've not given you much detail, but hopefully enough to wet your appetite. Check this guy out. His music is worth it because he praises the One who is Worthy. (and he is just bombdig.) Derrr.


Love y'all.


-His Beloved.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

HE IS RISEN!

Happy Easter, my friends!

In a friend, David's words: JESUS. Ain't. Dead!
WORD!

I have had a new aspect on Easter this year: God forsook His son, for me!
Wait, what? Hold up! This is a whole new take on Easter. A lightbulb that has finally turned on!

These next 365 days are going to be based on my love story with my Savior. And this truth that I have learned, that has finally clicked, is crucial. Not only did my God forsake His perfect son for me, but Jesus died willingly and took His Father's wrath for me. Woaaa.

Y'all! Do you see that love story? Do you see how much God desires us? He wanted a relationship with me so badly that he sacrificed His son for me. Jesus loved me so dearly that He died so I could know His Father. So I could know Him.

You see, because of my flesh, my very DNA I deserve death. The moment I was born, I was a sinner. I am imperfect. Just being human keeps me away from God, hence the need for a sacrifice. A need for a Savior. Jesus is it.

He lived a perfect life. In His perfection He was deemed a worthy sacrifice for all of our sins. That sin came with a price. When Jesus died on the cross, He took all of my sin upon himself. He became my sin. He paid my price.

But here is the beauty of it all.. Not only did Jesus take my sin upon himself and die. But He rose again victoriously. He conquered death. Jesus took all of my sin threw it into hell and left it there. Jesus literally stole me away from the devils grasp on my life. He is my Savior. I am alive. I know Him personally. I know His father personally. My Jesus ain't dead. He is alive and pursuing my life daily.

My Jesus is a champion, never to be defeated.

You wanna know Him? Do you need to be saved from the devils grasp on your life? Please ask questions! Please let me know how I can pray for you.
Reader, I love you dearly. :)

-His Beloved.

I woke up with this song in my head, and I wanted to share: click here :)

Saturday, April 23, 2011

365 days.

Ingrid Michaelson music streaming from the speakers.
Cuddled up in bed, lap top sitting, well.. on my lap.
Looking out the window of my bedroom.
Ready, to write to you, to tell you something.

Today is the first day of many where I will tell you something. I will be telling you many different somethings with no specific theme. This blog will just be filled with my heart.

You will be hearing a lot about music, and my favorite songs. Which ones speak to my heart, change my life and songs that I love to dance too. You will be hearing about adventures that I go on. You will find out some of my dreams, fears, and interests. You will be reading about love, oh love. The part of my heart that I am most excited about.. is tell you what Jesus is writing on my heart. I can promise you those are going to be the days worth reading. The part of my heart worth hearing about.

My desire is that through these next days, Jesus will be fleshed out through each of these aspects of my life. That you will see/hear/read about Jesus daily. Because the fact is, no music is worth listening too, no adventure worth going on, no dream worth having, no love worth experiencing, is worthy, unless Jesus is the center.

There is no blog worth reading unless it points you toward the only thing worthwhile. Jesus.

So, the point of this post is to prepare you. You, my friends, are going to be able to read 365 days worth of music, adventures, fears, dreams and interests that the Lord has graced me with. I believe that all of these things are a part of our (mine and His) beautiful journey. You see, my
Jesus pursues me daily, through each of these facets of life. My goal is to write out our love story for the next 365 days. My goal is that you will see our love and He will be lifted higher in your life because of it. That you will begin seek out your own love story with the Creator. He is there, ready to take you out. Sweep you off of your feet.

So Yes I am in love, I am in love with Jesus Christ. Hallelujah, I am in love.

Let's journey together.

- His Beloved.

Fear not, I have redeemed you. I have called you by name, you are mine. Isaiah 43:1
For your maker, is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Isreal. Isaiah 54:5