gypsy heart.

Graduation is only One month and 18 days away...
Hold the phone! I am officially an adult in one month and 18 days.
(well.. hopefully) ;)

Many times when I tell people that I am called to vocational ministry, people ask where I will be residing? I proceed to tell them that I do not yet know where I will be living. It could be here, there, or wherever. Then I am asked if I am okay with that? Not living where my beautiful family is, etc...?

My reply is usually this: I'll be just fine, God has blessed me with a gypsy heart. I really believe that. I can live wherever. Yes, I'll miss my family and friends but the Lord has prepared me to be away from them if that is what He calls me to.

I am so ready for adventure. Something new.

As I have been processing graduation and oh.. just life in general, God has showed me something else. Yes, my gypsy heart is for real, but not just with location but with temporary loves.

Jesus calls us to live solely for Him. My constant prayer is that He will consume my heart and mind. But, I so easily give my heart and mind away. I allow my mind and heart to be consumed by things of this world, good things, even Jesus things. But Jesus himself? Am I letting my heart be steadfast in my love for Jesus, or am I letting my heart be gypsy-like and seek love from things that are temporary?

Ohh this gypsy heart of mine.

Exodus 33:15 has been my prayer as of late.
And he said to him, "If your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here.

I have been praying this verse over my life in the context of jobs, graduation and the future. Today I had a new thought, what if this verse is my prayer when it comes to my heart and mind.

Lord, if your presence is not where my daydreams, business, thoughts are going. DO NOT allow me to go there. Lord, keep my thought life grounded in your presence. Let me have the Kingdom bound mindset. Lord, if my heart is seeking things of this world, then let them not be satisfied even for a second by the temporary. Lord, let me love you with my whole heart, entire mind, all of my strength, and every part of my soul. Lord, let it be You, that I adore.

Our constant goal should be, becoming one with Jesus. Not being perfect or obeying. But being one with Him. Being exactly where His presence is.

I am done with allowing my heart to be gypsy-like in anyway other than location. I desire for my heart to find it's ONLY home in Jesus Christ. He is jealous for me. Praise Him, He is jealous for me.
Constantly pursued.


Matt 6 and Psalm 34.

Love y'all.

Black and White

Man Oh Man.
Life is beautiful. I am doing two of my favorite things, sitting in a coffee shop and writing to you. :)

I have been able to catch up with a lot of old friends lately, it has been so sweet. I have been hearing a lot about life plans after graduation and just their lives in general. I have loved hearing from their hearts. I love knowing what my friends are passionate about.

Many of my friends and I are approaching graduation or have just graduated and are figuring out this whole thing called life. It is scary, but SO fun. The fun comes from knowing a Savior who is sovereign and ever loving.

Anyways, my favorite plans to hear about are the ones that aren't even close to being black and white. The plans that are just completely in the grey. I know that might sound crazy but it is truly my favorite. Reason being that I adore watching my friends lean into the Lord for direction. I love watching them fall more in love with Jesus because they are able to see His faithfulness be true. I love when my friends make the hard decision to stop relying on themselves and abide in Christ.

I love this stage of life because it is SO close to my heart. I am exactly there and let me tell you, I am leaning into the Lord and finding Him steadfast and faithful. I was able to tell my friend last night that this season in my life is so sweet. I have no idea what my life will look like after December but I know that my God is there and He has got it. Guys, because I have given up control of my life and given it over to my Jesus, I have had ridiculous joy. Not because my life is perfect or that I haven't had any trials but because, Jesus is the Prize. At the end of the day, who matters? JESUS! Even though my life is uncertain, He is the absolute truth and never changing.

MY GOD IS GOOD.

So the encouragement for the day is this; When life seems uncertain rest in the fact that Jesus is all knowing. He knows your very next step. Find courage in Jesus and be strong because He is your strength. Dig deep into the Word and let his truth soothe your soul. Let this uncertain time in your life be the one of the sweetest seasons. Jesus is faithful.

Love yall.

"My hands go up, giving You glory. I just can't give enough, You are so worthy Lord. I keep pouring it out for You. My cup is overflowing with Your perfect love. And this is my reward, I keep pouring it out for You."

thoughts.

Life is so interesting. I love God's sense of humor. I really believe He loves to stretch me. Stretching me hurts but His glory is the reason behind the lack of comfort. So, let's go.

Just a couple of thoughts from my life as of late:

Living in denial will leave you blind.
There is such truth in that statement. Whenever we deny or ignore the truth it leaves us ignorant. Lord, keep me from denying my convictions.

I had a friend tell me recently that she has been praying that when she sins that people will find her out. That way she will stop sinning. She asked me if that was crazy or weird. I told her that it was spiritually mature to pray like that. She gets it. She desires holiness, she was asking Jesus to do whatever it takes for her to be holy. For the love, that is a bold but God glorifying prayer.
Jesus, let my desire for holiness be that strong.

Sometimes the easy thing and the right thing are not always the same.
I think that we have this misconception that whenever we do the right thing, it won't be offensive to others. We believe that the right thing will not ruffle any feathers. Wrong. Whenever we do what's right, we are most likely shedding light in the darkness. That isn't always comfortable, and it is bold. But it's right. Jesus, help me seek righteousness.

We cannot allow our hurts and frustrations move us to self righteousness. Whenever we get hurt or someone sins against us, we (I) tend to get really prideful. I see my way and my hurt without seeing the other side of the story. Jesus, let me be quick to forgive.

Just some thoughts. :)

Love y'all.
Mon

woot. coffee.

So here I am sitting at a new (well, new to me) coffee shop in down town Tulsa.
I am in love.
This place is super chill, maybe even a little raw. It isn't perfectly put together. Basically, not my typical coffee shop. But again, I love it. The atmosphere of the shop meshes with the feel of down town really well. Hey, there is even a bike rack inside. 2 points for being awesome and supporting exercise. :)

So thanks Nick Livingston aka "Nicko" for helping a directionally challenged girl find Double Shot. My heart is happy.

As I sit here I am being super typical and doing two things.
1. Being "that" Christian doing her quiet time at a coffee shop. (don't judge me.)
2. And, well I am blogging. Do I pass as a coffee shop girl? Hope so. ;)

As I was reading I came across this verse in 1 John 4:16
We have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.

God is love. I am so thankful for that truth.

So this is the question that is on my heart. Is Gods love seeping out of me. Is it an overflow of my heart. Is His love constantly in my actions and my words.

Or


Are my judgements being laid super thick on the people around me? I am not talking about iron sharpening iron but am I being self righteous and judgy?

The verse above specifically states that whoever abides in love abides in God. Now this isn't earthy love but a God's perfect love. (another post for another time. If you have question about the difference, please ask.)

In John 16:35 it says,
By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

We have GOT to love one another. Be so quick to forgive one another. Love one another regardless. The lost will come to know Jesus by our love. Don't forget that it is His kindness that leads us to repentance. Let's put away our petty differences and show the world who Jesus is. Let's carry His Name by the way we love. Take the time to be kind today.

Let's take up our cross and die to ourselves and decide to love.

Dear self,
remember these things.


just some thoughts I am thinking. Obvi.

Go check out double shot.

Mon

elenowen.

Introducing Sarah Bush!

She is the coolest sophomore at OSU, hands down.

I love this girl so much! Just wanted to send some encouragement your way, my dear. I really believe that this year is going to be an incredible one for you. Jesus is going to stretch and love on you so much this year. Just wait. I can't wait to hear the stories. Stay close and do whatever it takes to spend time with our Savior. You are one of a kind, missy. That is such a good thing, and Jesus is going to use your outgoing personality for His glory! So be the girl He has created you to be. Love YOU, Sarah Bush.

Pretty recently Sarah introduced me to a band called elenowen. Y'all, I have become a tad obsessed. Maybe more than a tad. The cd has literally been on repeat for about three weeks. I have shared with a lot of my friends and they are the same way. So, again, take a leap and trust my taste in music and go check these people out. Worth it.

All of thier songs are amazing but there is one in particular that I want to share with y'all. The song is called save me, and here are the lyrics:

Like a cannonball to my chest,

Her words ripped me in two

I wished her all the best

And she wished me the truth

So what am i suppose to do now that I've lost all Ive known?

The heavy heart that's inside of me is sinking like a stone,

Like a stone.

Save me, save me.

I need more than just a hand to hold

I neeed to be carried.

Save me, Save me.

Bring your sweet redemption in

And never, never leave.

Like a soldier going off to war,

It hurt to let him go

I did what needed to be done

But now I'm feeling so alone

We built a home out of sand

But the tide kept coming strong

Broken back and calloused hands

I can only stand so long

Now all my hope is gone

Save me, Save me.

I need more than just a hand to hold

I need to be carried.

Save me, Save me.

Bring your sweet redemption in,

and never, never leave.

You are the place where I belong

Ill never know where I went wrong

Forever I am holding on to the hope of You.

To the hope of You. To the hope of You.

My interpretation of the song is this:

A couple has to break up because of whatever reason and they are turning to Jesus for redemption and healing. Whether you're in a relationship or not I think this song can apply to your life. I really believe Jesus has used this song to touch my heart because it is a reminder that He is where I belong. That I don't need anyone to hold my hand, but (like the song says) I need to be carried. And only Jesus can do that. Only He can offer me redemption and He is the only one that can truly promise to never leave. When I first listened to this song, it seemed sad. But now, y'all, so much joy comes to my heart.

You are the place where I belong.

I'll never know where I went wrong.

Forever I am holding on to the hope of You.

For the Love. There is so much hope in that verse of the song. Jesus is the place where I belong. Not a man, not a job, not anything that this world can offer me. But Jesus and a relationship with Him is where I belong! Knowing Him and being loved by Him. Whenever we surrender all that we want and are to Him, we really can forget all that we have done wrong because He forgives us. He is our hope. Forever. Let me say it one more time, FOREVER!!!! I belong to Jesus Christ becasue He bought me with a price. Himself. I am covered in His redeeming blood. He brought His sweet redemption through the cross. And guess what? He will save you. And He does promise to never leave. Hebrews 13:5

So my question is, what do you need to be saved from? Is it a relationship, school, or a job? I can promise you this, Jesus is the place you belong. My God is jealous for your entire heart. Give it on over. That is where chains will be broken. He will bring in sweet redemption. :)

Click here to listen to this song. :) then go creep this band.

mmmm, so thankful for grace and truth.

Love y'all.

Check out elenowen.

too proud?

Can You sing over me, words of comfort?
Can You satisfy me, sweet honey?
Can You break through me, with Your strong hands?
Can You undo me, enough to heal me?

You take the weight from my shoulders.
My hands were clenched, now they are open.
I'll take Your goodness poured from the sky.
Food from the ravens. Water from the dry well.
-Enter the Worship Circle (too proud)

Sometimes when our feelings are all over the place, remember this. Our hearts are so fickle. They can so easily lead us astray. Proverbs 28:26


The Word of God is not only comfort but the ultimate truth. Cling to it. It satisfies because it is the voice of God calling out to His people. Listen as you read. Let it pierce your heart and move you into action. It will break through your facade that you have built up for so long. His strong hands will heal you. He will break us a part. He will prune and chip away at the people we have built ourselves to be and remake us into the masterpiece He desires us to be. Someone who uses their gifts, hearts, and lives for His glory.

Don't get lost in thought, dear friend.
Read and be healed. :)

Love.

Music Monday.

Well hey there Music Monday!

Can I tell y'all how much I love Music Monday?

A LOT!!!!

Today's post is going to introduce a new Artist. Well, she isn't necessarily new and I have actually already blogged one of her songs. But I am pretty sure she is new to some of you. Thus the introduction of Jess Ray and the Rag Tag Army.
FOR THE LOVE, her music is so good to my ears. Her lyrics make me love Jesus more. A long while back I told you about her song Better. The Lord has used that song to glorify Himself in my life many times. Not only in my life, but in many of my friend's lives. It is one of those songs that you just put on repeat and relish in the fact that Jesus is better than anything that this life can give you.

I recently just found Jess Ray on facebook and fell in love with her new song, Had Me For Good.
This song talks about....well, She actually posts a vid explaining it. So watch that.

Now I am about to give you some instruction and you should probably follow it. :) Trust a sister, have I ever led you wrong? Nope. :)

1. click here. You are going to be taken to her fb page.
2. Like her page.
3. Scroll down until you see the vid where it says. "It's Tuesday and we only have two weeks left!" (she explains the song.) (you can also see her heart for the Lord!)
4. Watch video. :)
5. Go to her website. Click here.
6. Listen to the song. :))))))
7. Buy song. :)

Here are the lyrics:
I remember when You spoke to me
And for the first time I believed all you were saying
And in a moment you took hold of me
You had me for good,
had me for good, had me for good

You shackled, fastened, tethered me, to Yourself
And I am broken, useless, and ruined for anything else

You're rewriting my nature
You're reworking all my default settings
And there is nothing that can change that
Not even me, not even me, not even me

You shackled, fastened, tethered me, to Yourself
And I am broken, useless, and ruined for anything else

I'm prone to wonder towards you now.

______________________________________

Well there ya have it. Music Monday people. I promise this song is good.
Jesus truly has us FOR GOOD.
I love the part that says that we are ruined for anything else but Him. I LOVE THAT. I don't want anything else but Jesus. Nothing else compares. Let the song and the love of Jesus be honey to your soul.

Love y'all.
a lot.

question of the day:
Did you listen to the song? Do you have new perception of the Lord's love for you?
Answer me, answer me! :)

Prize!!
If you answer the question I will pick a winner and send them a random cd of mixed music. Ask anyone who has ever gotten a cd from me if they are legit and they will answer, YES! ;)

Too Proud.

Sitting in my bed, listening to the rain as well as the perfect song.
Soaking in the sound of thunder, taking in the flashes of light through my blinds, and just processing the day.

So I write to you my friends. Hoping that the Lord will use this post only to draw you closer to Him, by connecting our hearts. A connection can only happen through communication and vulnerability. So here I am, communicating and being vulnerable to you. Beth Moore once said blogging is not for the proud but for the honest. Oh, how our honesty can bring such healing not only for ourselves but for others. But that is a different thought for a different post.

Get comfortable and lets dig in.
Warning: its long. but bear with me. :)

Honestly y'all, today has been exhausting. I went to church this morning and God wrecked me. I then went to lunch and God wrecked me. Weird, I know, but it happened. I then went home and sat on my mommas bed and cried like a baby and we shared our hearts. Then off to Starbucks to study my heart out, just needing to be with Jesus.

This morning Pastor Nick preached on the Power of the Holy Spirit. It was the last part of his sermon that got me. He spoke over our struggles and having heavy hearts. He talked about our struggles and how they bring us closer to Jesus. Oh, how I needed to be reminded of this. Y'all, I have been struggling. I have been struggling with doubt of my salvation. It has been draining. I have been really transparent about my doubt with a lot of people but not with everyone. It is scary to mention it. To reveal that a girl who feels called to ministry and claims to love Jesus with all that I am, struggles with doubt. It doesn't match up.

I nailed down my salvation in the 8th grade. I remember praying with all of my might that Jesus would save me, that the best that I knew how, I was giving my life to Christ. I wanted Him to be Lord of all that I was. I knew that life wasn't worth it unless I was living for Christ. Y'all as I was praying the devil was whispering in my ear, "You don't mean this." But I know that I did. I knew that I wanted it. The spiritual warfare was Cray Cray. Fo Real. Honestly guys, it took me a year to fully get over the doubt. Jesus definitely showed Himself to me, and was there but I couldn't shake it. In talking to one of my youth pastors he was super blunt with me and just said, "Monica, you are not trusting Jesus." He has got this. You need to trust Him. That day something clicked. I knew that the grace of God was covering me. Jesus did all that I needed Him too. I finally took the perspective off of myself and stopped trying so hard. I just let His blood cover me. For the next four years the doubt was gone.

You see, I believe that my doubt is a product of when I start trusting myself and my works more than I trust the blood of Jesus. I look at my life at times, and think to myself, I got this. I do good work. Even as I write this, I laugh at myself. Nothing I can do is good enough. Jesus is the only good in me.

Fast forward to now..doubt has crept back into my life. I was trying to do it on my own. I am called to ministry y'all. I've known it since the 8th grade. But I have been trying to do it on my own power. I needed to be reminded that it is NOT me. It IS Jesus. He is worth it all. Not me.

I would go to church and be like DADGUM something was missing. Lo and behold, it was Jesus. I took my life back in my own hands and was trying to be good enough rather than just resting in what He did for me. I was doing church. I would raise my hands knowing He was worthy but missing out on Him. So I would question, "Is this for real?"

It is. :)

Today Pastor talked about the comfort of the Holy Spirit. Even in our trials and tribulations. My doubt is definitely a trial. One that I bring on myself, but also one that the Lord uses for His glory. I was so broken because I needed that comfort. I went home and talked with mom through what was going on in my heart and she prayed over me. It was such a sweet time with her. The Lord granted my heart peace. I know that I am His.

From that point I went to Starbucks and just read the Word. I read Ephesians chapters 1-3, as well as a devotional, My Utmost for His Highest.
"Some of us are far from this oneness; yet God will not leave us alone until we are one with Him-- because Jesus prayed, "..that they all may be one.." -My Utmost for His Highest

Ephesians chapters 1-3 also mentioned being one with Christ 7 times.

I realized at Starbucks that Jesus is sanctifying me. Which is just a really fancy word for making me more like Christ. He is going to allow doubt to creep in my mind whenever I am doing this whole being a Christian thing on my own. He wants me to be one with Him. I can't be one when I am doing everything on my own. It. Is. Him.

He wants to be one with you. He doesn't want to just be someone you say you believe in or someone that you talk about every so often. He wants to be one with you. Just like a husband is one with his wife. A husband and wife know each other. They know EVERYTHING about each other. He wants me to know all of Him so I no longer doubt. So I know his promises. So I know that He has crazy good plans for my life. But mostly so He can be glorified in me. Do you know that God is most glorified when we are satisfied in Him. When we find every need in Him. Every desire is for Him. He is worth it. Even now, as I write to you. I am amazed at His love for me.

I know this post is long. And kinda all over the place. You got a glimpse of my heart. And what God is doing. He is asking for all of me. And not for me to do life on my own, but to let Jesus be alive in me. He wants you, reader, friend, to know Him.

The Gospel is as simple as this: I will never be good enough. Even on my very best day, it is not enough to be enough. I am a sinner. Jesus is enough. He was sinless, a perfect sacrifice. And God did just that. God sent Jesus to die on the cross to take all my imperfections, all my doubt on himself. He died for me. He rose again three days later and conquered all my sin. He conquered the devil that whispered in my ear. He placed me into heaven, forever. Not because I was good enough. But because I believe in who He says He is. I gave my life to Him. And He took it. Dirty and doubtful Monica is now Clean and believing.

Who are you? Do you know Him? Really know Him? Is He everything?
Let me know.

Email me or fb me if you have specific questions that you don't want to post or contact me if you want to share your story.
monica.smith10@okstate.edu

love you.

Draw Near

I'm back!

I know, I know! I said I was going to do 365 days worth of posts... But of course life got super crazy. But the Lord blessed me with a day off today, so I writing to you, my friends. As cheesy as it may sound, I hope this post finds you happy and well. :) Seriously!
Oh! You should probably thank my sweet friend Alyssa, for this post because in all honesty it is her pretty self that encouraged me to write again. You can follow her, here. :)

Now for today's post. LET'S ROLL.

Jesus is more than good. He is more than I could ever tell you about. He is all that matters.

He. Is. It.

This post is specifically for those people that are in a rut with their relationship with Jesus. Y'all, I know that can be the worst feeling, EVER. But there is hope, He is good. He desires you with all that He is. His love never changes. His love does not rely on who we are or what we have done, His faithful love is perfect because of who He is, and what He has done. He is LOVE.

Those truth's are what I have been learning to believe and learning to trust. I will never be good enough or do enough. I will always fail. But He never does and He won't. God has literally been stripping me of ALL that I am. He is taking the good and the bad.

My challenge to you is this: Stop, just stop. Stop trying so hard. Stop trying to fix it all. Stop trying to be good enough and REST. Rest in who Jesus is, in what He did for you. If you're thinking but how? How do I rest? I will tell you.

You can't rest in Jesus and who He is, if you don't know Him. If you are not taking the time to be with Him. To know that He is love. So rest, in the Word of God. Search. Read. Soak. REST. Listen to music that praises Him for all that He is. Then let the Word and let the truths that people sing about overtake you. Lay down all your mistakes, knowing that Jesus died for exactly those. And rest in Him. The Word will change and transform you. I promise that when you spend time in the Word, you will be a different person. When you take the focus of yourself and focus on Christ, you will live differently. It will be an abundant life in Christ.

Start here, listen to this song.

Fave lyrics are:

Breathe in me Your life

'Til Your love overtakes me.

Open up my eyes

Let me see you more clearly

Falling on my knees

'Til I love like You love me

I love You.

Sing this over yourself.

Some verses :)

Draw me after You and let us run together. Song of Solomon 1:4

..Fear not: For I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. Isaiah 43:1

If the Son therefore shall make you free, you shall be free indeed. John 8:36

And you shall seek me, and find me, when you search for me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13

You have said, "Seek my face." My heart says to you, "Your face, Lord, do I seek." Psalm 27:8

Seek Him and who He is with all you are, and rest.

Love you guys.

Question: What is the best way you connect with Jesus? Don't be scurred. Leave a comment and lets talk it out. :)

Music Monday.

"Your love for music will be an important part of your life." My fortune cookie. :)

If you know me at all, you know that I am a HUGE fan of music. HUGE.
So, every Monday, will be Music Monday.
Get. Excited.

This particular Monday is featuring KB! You can check him out here.

I actually just got a hold of his cd today. It is raw and full of talent. He lays out the truth and brings it hard. Check out a "Don't Waste Your Life" remix here. He brings it, and it. Is. Good.

click here to see the vid. :)

Okay, I know I've not given you much detail, but hopefully enough to wet your appetite. Check this guy out. His music is worth it because he praises the One who is Worthy. (and he is just bombdig.) Derrr.

Love y'all.

-His Beloved.

HE IS RISEN!

Happy Easter, my friends!

In a friend, David's words: JESUS. Ain't. Dead!
WORD!

I have had a new aspect on Easter this year: God forsook His son, for me!
Wait, what? Hold up! This is a whole new take on Easter. A lightbulb that has finally turned on!

These next 365 days are going to be based on my love story with my Savior. And this truth that I have learned, that has finally clicked, is crucial. Not only did my God forsake His perfect son for me, but Jesus died willingly and took His Father's wrath for me. Woaaa.

Y'all! Do you see that love story? Do you see how much God desires us? He wanted a relationship with me so badly that he sacrificed His son for me. Jesus loved me so dearly that He died so I could know His Father. So I could know Him.

You see, because of my flesh, my very DNA I deserve death. The moment I was born, I was a sinner. I am imperfect. Just being human keeps me away from God, hence the need for a sacrifice. A need for a Savior. Jesus is it.

He lived a perfect life. In His perfection He was deemed a worthy sacrifice for all of our sins. That sin came with a price. When Jesus died on the cross, He took all of my sin upon himself. He became my sin. He paid my price.

But here is the beauty of it all.. Not only did Jesus take my sin upon himself and die. But He rose again victoriously. He conquered death. Jesus took all of my sin threw it into hell and left it there. Jesus literally stole me away from the devils grasp on my life. He is my Savior. I am alive. I know Him personally. I know His father personally. My Jesus ain't dead. He is alive and pursuing my life daily.

My Jesus is a champion, never to be defeated.

You wanna know Him? Do you need to be saved from the devils grasp on your life? Please ask questions! Please let me know how I can pray for you.
Reader, I love you dearly. :)

-His Beloved.

I woke up with this song in my head, and I wanted to share: click here :)

365 days.

Ingrid Michaelson music streaming from the speakers.
Cuddled up in bed, lap top sitting, well.. on my lap.
Looking out the window of my bedroom.
Ready, to write to you, to tell you something.

Today is the first day of many where I will tell you something. I will be telling you many different somethings with no specific theme. This blog will just be filled with my heart.

You will be hearing a lot about music, and my favorite songs. Which ones speak to my heart, change my life and songs that I love to dance too. You will be hearing about adventures that I go on. You will find out some of my dreams, fears, and interests. You will be reading about love, oh love. The part of my heart that I am most excited about.. is tell you what Jesus is writing on my heart. I can promise you those are going to be the days worth reading. The part of my heart worth hearing about.

My desire is that through these next days, Jesus will be fleshed out through each of these aspects of my life. That you will see/hear/read about Jesus daily. Because the fact is, no music is worth listening too, no adventure worth going on, no dream worth having, no love worth experiencing, is worthy, unless Jesus is the center.

There is no blog worth reading unless it points you toward the only thing worthwhile. Jesus.

So, the point of this post is to prepare you. You, my friends, are going to be able to read 365 days worth of music, adventures, fears, dreams and interests that the Lord has graced me with. I believe that all of these things are a part of our (mine and His) beautiful journey. You see, my
Jesus pursues me daily, through each of these facets of life. My goal is to write out our love story for the next 365 days. My goal is that you will see our love and He will be lifted higher in your life because of it. That you will begin seek out your own love story with the Creator. He is there, ready to take you out. Sweep you off of your feet.

So Yes I am in love, I am in love with Jesus Christ. Hallelujah, I am in love.

Let's journey together.

- His Beloved.

Fear not, I have redeemed you. I have called you by name, you are mine. Isaiah 43:1
For your maker, is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Isreal. Isaiah 54:5

Little List.

Ohhhh man. My heart is so full at the moment. I have been itching to blog for awhile now but knew I would sit at the computer and not know how to put into words how good my God is.

I've decided to make a list and explain as I go. Hope this goes as smoothly as prayed for. :)

Just roll with me.

List:

1. I am incredibly thankful to be in Stillwater this semester.

-There has been a lot of uncertainty on whether or not this is where I should be. Last semester I had such a desire to be home in Tulsa. There is just so much comfort in being home. I was longing for that comfort last semester. So I began to seek out the option of taking classes at OSU Tulsa and seeing if I could finish out my degree there. Through the whole process, my biggest desire was just to be where God wanted me. So, I simply asked him to make it clear. I talked to my advisor and it became very clear that I was going to be in Stillwater rather than Tulsa. As much as I wanted to be home, I had to trust the Lord. He has proven Himself faithful. Duh.

2. I would be lying if I said that there weren't days that I still longed to be in Tulsa.

-There is so much that draws me to Tulsa. My family being a huge part of that. I am now an aunt of 3 of the cutest kids, EVER. I don't want to miss out on them growing up. My home church is another big one. I have no doubt in my mind that God is doing HUGE things there. He is raising up a people who are ONLY about His glory. My heart longs to be a part of that, to see and help cultivate that. I want to see Jesus be made famous in the lives of the people that I have grown up with, the people that I love so much. I have friends old and new that I miss daily. The Lord has allowed me to make connections with people that have blown my mind. Specifically the college group at FBCBA. They are an incredible, Jesus loving group of people who have stolen my heart.

So yes, there are still days that I long to be in Tulsa.

3. My God is sovereign.

-Regardless of the fact that my heart longs for good things in Tulsa. God is jealous for me. I really feel like He has brought me out into the desert to be with just Him. Oh so many song lyrics come to mind that could explain this perfectly. But this is the song that best describes what God is doing in my life.

He will allure her.

He will pursue her.

Call her out to wilderness with flowers in his hands.

She is responding, beat up and hurting, deserving death.

But offerings of life are found instead.

She will sing, she will sing, Oh to You.

As You lead her away to valleys alone.

Oh to acres of hope.

((Acres of Hope by Shane and Shane))

4. I am really bad about busying myself with things OF the Lord rather than just being with Jesus.

- If I were home, I would of been comfortable. I would of been distracted. And again, He is jealous for me. For my heart, my time, ALL of me. He wants to transform me. Make me more like Him. He wants me to fall madly in love with Him. And y'all.... He is sweeping me off of my feet. I am falling for Him. I am giving him ALL of me. Not just my serving and the pretty side of me. But the bad and the ugly. He is asking me for my pride and my selfishness. He is transforming me because of His grace.

5. That is why I am crazy thankful to be in Stillwater.

- I am not comfortable. I feel like I am constantly on my toes. I see myself longing for and desiring worldly things and I stop and run back to Jesus. He is alluring me to Him. Pursuing me. I am thankful because living in Stillwater is my desert. It is my acre of Hope. All I have is Jesus. Praise God. All I have is Jesus.

6. I am going to end this list with some Lecrae lyrics. It is exactly how I feel. I hope you feel the same.

If this life has anything to gain at all

I count it lost if I can't hear You, feel You, 'cause I need You

Cant walk this earth alone

I recognize I am not my own, so before I fall

I need to hear You, feel You, as I live to to make my boast in You alone.

Glory was solely meant for You.

((Boasting by Lecrae))

I can't do it my own power y'all. It has got to be all Jesus. I am thankful to be with just Him. I can't do this life without the Spirit moving me. I can't only bring Him glory, when my life is all about me. So He is preparing me. Breaking me. Praise God.

I am so thankful for the desert.

"She is responding, beat up and hurting, deserving death.

But offerings of life are found instead.

She will sing, She will sing, Oh to You.

As You lead her away to valleys alone.

Oh to acres of hope."